Gratitude

It’s been a while I have penned down something. But, scribbling anything would not do justice. Hope everyone’s staying safe in these times. We have been through a lot. But, we have hope and faith that one day the situations or circumstances will change. The hope and faith have a greater impact than we think. 

What compelled me to write now, is that this period has taught me lessons I would have never understood so closely. In my married life, we have had good moments, better moments (best moments are yet to come, I always believe that) and not-so-good moments. We always look for what we do not have. We rarely appreciate the things that we have: family, friends, emotional attachments with loved ones, good food, fresh air or a shelter.

I just celebrated my birthday not so long ago. Every year we celebrate this day by taking the long weekend (Memorial day) and head out to a place where we can spend time away from work. This year was going to be no different but, the pandemic forced us to change the plans. Rather than cursing it, we shrugged off and planned a surprise together. My wife bought some supplies from a local supermarket (maintaining social distancing) and we prepared a no-bake mango cheesecake on the eve of my birthday.

The point is not that we made a no-bake mango cheesecake but, it’s about appreciating the moments that come our way and enjoying them to the fullest. These are the moments that will define our lives and might be nominated as the better ones or the good ones. 

Let us all appreciate what we have rather than complain about what we do not have. Remember, no one gets more than he’she deserves or, less than they deserve. 

P.S. : The best moments are always yet to come. 

Retreat

Sometimes, we meet strangers who were destined to be met, at least once in life. One of those strangers is my wife who was destined to meet me, no matter what. And, then, there was an old yet charming couple we met at a couples-only resort.
Good thing about resorts is that they have numerous activities going around so one hardly has time to head out. One of these was Bingo after a really interesting and fun game called, "The Sexual Feud". One helluva game was 'The Sexual Feud'. Brings out the dirtiest you, played between the 2 sexes, men can lose this one (Beware!).
There were a couple of games that we played with another couple with more than twice as old as we are. They aged gracefully.
One of those games needed the male partner shoot (with fake bullets) his wife who was sitting in chair with glasses covering most of the face. The twist here was to close one eye and the gun had 4 barrels through which bullets would fire and you don't know which one would fire first. One of the fewer games in which you'd want to lose and not hit your partner in face (pun, intended). Well, we won the game, and earned a medal for that. We won against the older couple (won after a tie breaker). That man had some guts even after 50 plus years.
We met again in Bingo, lost the game in the last stage by a small margin against the old couple. It seemed as if we had to complete the circle of winning and losing. We graced the loss, cheered up and sat at a table. The winner got a bubble bath soap. The old man walked to us, patted on my shoulder, and handed me the prize, telling me, this is for you. What A Gentleman! My wife and I looked over him, thanked him and his wife for wonderful gesture.
Sometimes, people just don't wander in your life, they come and go for a purpose.
One more such person was the COO of the resort. One funny man he was. Billy, as he was known around, was the host of all the games that were being played. Such was his enthusiasm, that he carried the same stamina and fun throughout the day till the beats in the club stopped. We were one of the fewer couples who took part in all the activities of the resort, which he acknowledged in front of all.
Sometimes, it feels that it doesn't end like that. We get calls from universe to complete the circle.

May be, someday...

3 years and again

In a short while from now you'll be boarding the flight to home. Close to 3 years and you'll be seeing your family again, I've been through that and millions other have been, some others more than that. It all started 3 years ago with coincidence missing by just a few days. My leaving and your homecoming. 9 months ago it all started with a few texts and emotions. That was all what was required for a journey of togetherness. What were coincidences for others became a routine for us, from thoughts to ought to be. On a crossroad, our lives crossed once, twice and thrice. It was just that perfect moment for us to meet at the crossroads of life and never ever leave. We had our own share of happiness and sorrows, never did we leave each other, and never shall we leave either. We tried to write that story our way, and so shall it be 'cause once a step taken will not be taken back. Emotions flew like those free birds from a cage and we embarked a journey together thereafter. Seconds, minutes, hours and days passed, it blossomed. Today, you are sitting here in front of me waiting for the security check for your flight, while I gave the security clearance for our flight a long time ago. Sometimes, people leave an impression and never come back, while some others live to never leave. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to know a person, sometime just a week is enough. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens just, everything happens just. Some deep words those from a well wisher. Destiny has its role to play at a perfect time. 3 years ago, same time I decided to write about a flight for destiny. It always remained unfinished. Guess, it was destined to be. It had to finish here with you. Which was my solo flight then, will be turning to a flight of togetherness with you this time. As I say goodbye to you today, and wait just a week more to see you again, I would add 3 more words to this. I LOVE YOU. 

Tiny Tales

Dilemma

She was nothing but a reflection of himself in life. How could he be with some one who's nothing but his own self?
But, then how could he leave his own self?
That hurt them more.

Win and Loss

I fought against them for you and won.
I am here in front of you and feeling lost

Promise

She: can you keep promises?
He: I have made my mother one, I'm sure I can keep others as well.
She: Boycott it.
He flushed the last can he had.


Neverland

She: Where are we?
He: A place/step where others can only dream of.


Aroma

waft from freshly brewed coffee
her just washed hair
of earthy scent after rain
mom's soft warm fulka roti
the musk that he wears
and the lotion on your hands
this world seems like a garden indeed

the final play

If you're destined to meet someone, you will, there's no denying that fact. They met at crossroads not once or twice, but thrice. Their world collided, emotions erupted, he felt rejuvenated, she felt comfortable, and the sharing and paring started. her voice reverberated in his ears the day they talked. There was a sense of completeness between them. It seemed to him that he found his missing self in her. He would answer all her questions, give his thoughts, only to find that they have been meticulously sorted out and thought of by her, before he could even think/say. She was a reflection of his self in real life. She would always hers as 'the final play'. He and his vain efforts lost to her final play. A story they pondered together before it was written; it was written flawlessly just like a craftsman crafting a masterpiece. Too good to be true, she did not think once if he was not the one he was, because he didn't either. Not even a person can trust hi/her own self; but, she did. "I am busy in some work, sorry. I will call you later.", he said. Deep down her heart, she knew he will, and he would. But still, she replied, "talk to me, 'cause I would be fine otherwise." Everything would go numb around them, She found comfort in his voice and he found in hers. Vocal texts, expressive silence, endless waits was what they experienced. What she saw in him, was what she asked for. He would say something, and she would reply, " i knew you were going to say it; I was just waiting for you to speak." And again, she would win the 'final play' of that conversation. What could possibly go wrong from this? But, did she deserve this? or did she deserve better?
One fine night and they were left devastated. He embraced the parting as if nothing ever happened. He saw her for the first time then. They promised each other; this will be the last flight of emotions that will fly. They talked as if everything was good, but, the scars were just beginning to come. Inseparable splitsville was on its way. They both were waiting to end it forever. But, who take the guard and who plays the final play. Indecisiveness was hovering over their heads. The more they wanted to close, the stronger the bond grew.
She: "Do you have the courage to hang up the call?"
He (confidently): "Yes. I have to."
She (radiantly smiling): "Why are you lying to your self?"
He: "I am not."
She (scoffs): "Ask your self."
He (sighs): "Fine. I am. But, we have to put an end to this. Let me be the bad guy."
She: " You know that you can't." (again she would win the final play)
He: "Why are you doing this to me? How about not looking at me, and I will hang up. Easy?"
"Perhaps.", she said. "But, I don't want to regret later that I did not see him for the one last time." she added with teary eyes. (she would just not let him win, would she?)
Every single time he tried to push the finger, she would shake her head in disbelief.
One last time, and he asked her again to give the permission to put an end to their emotional miseries.
It felt like their worlds were breaking apart. Her smile was the last thing he saw about her. "Okay" were her last words he heard. Silence. After all those hours of looking in each others' eyes, waiting for her to give him permission, after all those 'okays' and 'nos', it took him less than a second to gather courage and push his finger on the phone and end what will never end. She cried and he took that blame on himself. Blaming himself, he didn't hold back and down came the tears of loss. It felt like he lost to himself. But, after all this that happened, who played the 'final play'? Did he by cutting it off or did she by the smile and final words in despair, "okay."? We all know who did, don't we?

They wished this never ends...

nothing just happens, everything happens just

Sometimes, a week is enough to know and understand, and sometimes, a lifetime's short to get connected. Our lives are filled with moments , good or bad. Countless people walk in and out, we move on; but, there are always some who will walk out by leaving an impression. It is that aura that they carry with them which gives us a reason to appreciate moments shared with them. Not necessarily they will remain with you forever, but, they give us a reason to live again.What we share between us will be special. It gives me pleasure to know how good I can be. You are the coating of galvanized zinc that prevented rusting of emotions. It gave me a feeling of coming back to my self (kind of a re-discovery). We wouldn't want to say much about the short times, but, a little word of appreciation will not be harmful. we are always tested, and it is only after extreme heat and pressure carbon turns to diamond, We from now shall have a future we deserve. Many a times, we think if relationship between 2 human beings does not work, why did they meet? There is a simple explanation to that: they met because one was exactly what the other one was looking for.
A small piece of advice to end this: "Nothing just happens, everything happens just."

Promise me

Last night was no different than every Tuesday. Finished with my late night classes, I walked back to my apartment which is a 12 minute walk from the train station. Weather had not been good all day. Snow in the afternoon turned into freezing rain in night while I was walking back to my apartment. Hopping around the puddles I managed to reach my apartment. I finished eating my dinner and got in my bedroom where I had a whole load of laundry to be folded. It had been a while that I video chatted with my parents in India. I hadn't been in greatest of moods since 3-4 days. After talking with my dad, it was my mom's turn to be on the video call. A sense of happiness always resides on her face whenever she sees me. This time it was no different. Our conversation took a different turn the moment we talked about protecting one's wife. There was a sense of concern that she wanted to share with me (which she did). Being a mother, she would always want her son to take her side or be with her. But,  how long? That's the question. She uttered by far the best piece of advice to me on maintaining or should I say balancing relationships. 

"Son, whatever it takes, do not ever let, your wife's inability to do something, out in front of anyone; not even her. And, do whatever it takes to be on her side. You'll have to balance between her and me. And, I will make sure you would not have a moment like that anytime in your life. Promise me."

"I promise."